Separate Vacations For Married Folks? Why Not, I Guess

Mountains or the beach? Vegas or Disney? Manhattangoofball PD and they had all those kids! So no, thank
Island or Manhattan Kansas? Where to go this year,you very much, she's not going to the reunion.
and who got their way last year, and how do weSeparate vacations? Why not?
resolve the vacation destination riddle? Is there aThis is the year all your sisters are getting together on
married couple who hasn't had this discussion? Likelythe Oregon coast, and your mate isn't even
there isn't, and the answer, though somewhat puzzling,invited--girls only. Separate trips are in order.
and perhaps a bit controversial, may be separateYour daughter has an audition at Juilliard, and only one
vacations altogether. It's happening with increasingof you can go because the other has a critical
frequency, particularly with two career families, andbusiness deal. Take your daughter to New York and
so-called working vacations.enjoy the place for three or four days? Why not?
The practice is gaining in popularity, and for severalYou have vacation time that you'll lose if you don't
reasons. Some of them have to do with time, oftake it, and your spouse can't go? Why not take off,
course, some with money, some revolve around kidcatch some of the sights he or she doesn't care to,
care and some with a combination of all the above.and bring them back a nice gift?
Let's explore a few of the reasons, advantages,Maybe your job title is changing, and the boss requires
disadvantages and considerations for taking a vacationsome updated training that can only be found in
alone, leaving your mate behind, or on their ownMonterey, or New Orleans, or Martha's Vineyard. Hey,
separate trip.we can all dream of things like this can't we? The
You've been dying to see wine country, and thetraining is two weeks of intense, eight to five indoor,
offerings of Napa Valley, the B&Bs, the lush,hands-on work, and your mate has their own work,
verdant landscapes in and around fabled northernso--separate vacations? Why not?
California towns. Your mate? Forget it. No interest. IfFinally, perhaps you just want some time alone. Maybe
there's not a baseball game, or an outlet mall nearby,the kids have worn you down, a life change has left
they're really not interested in going. Besides, wineyou questioning a lot of things, or a certain birthday
gives them a headache--not good for a vacation withlooms and you'd like to meditate on it, free of the need
your spouse, and cheese gives them gas, ahem, notto interact, even with your mate. We all need this from
good either.time to time, and they'll understand. Go ahead; get
They, on the other hand have been itching to get toaway; you'll feel better, and that may be a welcome
the new Camden Yards to see the Orioles play,relief for both of you.
hopefully the Yankees, then to catch a harborsideIt's happening a lot more, for a lot more reasons.
dinner of crabs and all the seafood fixings, then take inSeparate vacations for married folks are less rare all
Fort McHenry and revel in all the history there. Yourthe time. Even certain resorts are beginning to cater to
mate? Baseball gives them a headache, history isthe single-married set. The practice can be more
boring, and crabs give them gas, but well, there's hoperestful and refreshing than any trip together just
for both of you. These are just a few of the dilemmasbecause it's the norm, the way you've always done it.
we face when it comes time to select a vacationAs Tara Fass, a therapist in Los Angeles says: "Going
spot. Here are a few more, including some legitimateaway on your own gives you and your partner the
reasons to vacation by yourself.experience of autonomy, and also allows you to
It's been thirty years since High School graduation, andreflect on your marriage."
you'd really like to reconnect with the old crowd. YouOne thing to consider, though, as the experts all agree,
want to see if BT really started that bowling alley, or ifseparate vacations should not take the place of
JS really did marry that goofball PD and they hadshared vacations with one another. It's important that
seven kids!you save time and money for both at some point. It's
Your mate never even knew BT, only from scurrilousalso very important to understand why you want to
rumors of what he did as a pinspotter, and she'd beentravel separately. If there's a challenge in your
nuts about JS, and couldn't believe he ran off with thatmarriage, it may not be the best time to go it alone.